I have come to a realization, which is obvious by the title, but its a realization of which I am deeply and graciously thankful. It is one of those realizations that lifts a lot of weight off of your shoulders, I think many people know what that means. It is one where you realize that a certain individual does not mean as much to you as you previously supposed. Its fantastic! It is such a weight lifted I feel like I could fly! That is, if I wasn’t a fat cow preggo biatch at the moment. 
Way better than the Redbull wings!
I do understand that the only reason I was able to become so irritated with this person yesterday is due to hormones. Because now that I think about it, this is how Id rather things would be– that he leave me alone. Its great. Now if he could keep his compulsive lying down to a minimum, then it would be PERFECT.
I don’t care if he has anyone I know convinced that he is the victim, I know the truth and that is all that matters. Its a bit fucked that he manages to have my brother take his side all of the time, but that doesn’t speak against me in the slightest. If that is how it is, then there is nothing I can do to change it. An outsider can be easily swayed with the right words, especially if said person has no idea what I’ve really had to put up with in the past five months. I REFUSE to go down that road again. I am burnt out on emotion towards this person. During the latest text transaction I realized what he wants things to be like: He wants me to be jealous and to actually care where he is or what he does etc etc yadda yadda whoopty whoop whoopty bam! But I’m not, and I don’t. I guess this is one thing that he fails to understand. Why he even bothered to pretend to begin with is beyond me, because now we are right back where we were, only for me.. much less of any kind of feeling in the situation.
The only reason I tried to be nice this time around was for my son, but even my son is not that worried about it. Yea, he wants to see his daddy sometimes, but he does not blame me for any of it, he is very smart and understands that it isn’t me doing any of it. And he is a momma’s boy. So that is a plus, for the most part, lol. If my son was more worried about it, then Id be pissed that his daddy isn’t even trying for his sake… but that is not how it is. Therefore, I will not sacrifice my sanity any longer. I am all burnt out, as I’ve said before. No emotion, Im completely apathetic, to be perfectly honest, I do not think Id shed a tear for anything “bad” happening to him.
The point of this post is to BOAST of the fact that I am finally free.
So, YAY!
