I haven’t posted much in the past month, so I figured that I would post a recap of what has happened lately. Starting from the beginning? Probably not, and I couldn’t possibly fit it all into one blog, you would probably fall asleep half way through. I know that people don’t usually feel like reading in front of a computer, it hurts your eyes, so I will do my best not to disappoint. Although, my life isn’t really THAT interesting. Dramatic, yes, but interesting? Eh.
The main thing that has been happening in my life is the pregnancy, for those of you who know, I have been trouble dealing with the mood swings. I did not have such trouble during my first pregnancy, the second did not end happily, but this third one sure has given me a run for my money. I assumed it would be as easy as with my son, but its a different gene pool that has been dipped into this time… so maybe that is why.. who knows.
Recently, there was a ton of drama going on in my life due to a website called Topix.com. This website, is supposed to be a forum where people can discuss whatever they want. In this towns forum, however, its basically a slam book. If you check the site out and take a look at the town, in which I currently reside, you see nothing but he said she said drama… Names of unpopular people and popular people of the like. All anyone does in this town is spread vicious rumors and start BS in other peoples lives. I can’t say that I don’t understand though, because trust me, this town has nothing to offer. It might as well be a ghost town, granted, the ghosts are crack-heads, but a ghost town nonetheless.
The drama on this website resulted in yours truly finding one of the people responsible and confronting her. I can tell you that there was no threat, big belly and all, I simply made it clear that I wanted this mess to stop and that we are too old for it all. We have better things to do, kids to raise, school to attend, etc etc. Well, within perhaps an hour, her husband was lying in wait for me and my son outside of my doctor’s office, where I was attending one of my prenatal visits. My phone had died, but it was full of threats and apparently he and his wife were outside waiting on me to beat me up, in front of my child, they didn’t care, and they said as much. Luckily, before my phone died, I managed to contact a friend to get us out of that situation. All I was thinking about was my son, to get him out of there, and in my opinion I did the right thing. Looking back, however, I should have had one of the nurses call the cops. He was inebriated, to say the least, and well… he would have definitely went to jail. So, I am dragging this story on longer than I intended… This happened a few weeks ago.
Last week, it was brought to my attention again. (I kept receiving updates from others of this man bragging that I deserve an ass whooping and that I will get it one day when I least expect it, yadda yadda.) My brother then receives a phone call, basically this guy trying to explain himself. I became very upset, because as far as I am concerned, he shouldn’t be apologizing to my brother and kissing his ass… he didn’t threaten my brother. Anyhoo! This stayed with me for a couple of days due to the fact that I am having issues dealing with these hormonal mood swings. The saddest part about it all is that this child within my womb is the niece of nephew of this “man.” But, I have decided that he will not have any contact with the child, and he can just kiss my ass if he thinks otherwise. Its not up to the daddy, its up to me. Daddy isn’t around. I haven’t heard from daddy in over a week.
My mood swings can get pretty damn bad at times, all it takes is one thing… something very very small… and I go the FUCK off! I do try my best to calm my self, but it can be very difficult, because not only am I reacting insanely quickly and ten times worse than normal, I also get infuriated by the fact that I am reacting in such a way. I try to meditate, I try to relax as much as possible… but there is always something… someone who wants to start trouble. I don’t care what anyone says, I do NOT start this shit, I sit at home and play cards with my bestie. I also remain at home with my son, he is Autistic, I have enough of my plate.
~Begin The Last Rant On The Issue~
It is not my problem that your life sucks. And if you claim it doesn’t suck so bad, then why are you all up in mine? Go ahead and keep on doing what you are doing with YOUR life, I simply do not care. Good luck, for real, because Id love for you to have something else to worry about. Maybe it bothers you that I am not worried about you at all, maybe it bothers you that I am pregnant, maybe it bothers you that I am me, hell if I know. But what I do know is that nothing you do can phase me, it might piss me off for the moment since I am, after all, a human being… but I will not drop down to your level, I will not continue to play these games. Grow up and get the fuck out of my life. Don’t send me messages telling me how you want me to stay far away from you then turn around and start more shit… hypocrite. LEARN to live you OWN life, and stay the fuck out of mine. I do not care what you think you are owed, you will receive nothing from me, especially not respect. I do not respect horrible parents, wife beaters, alcoholics, or anything of the like. Sorry, but you are not good enough to concern me. This is my final say in the matter. Go ahead and bump your gums, dickbeaters, fuck your hubbys family members… I. Do. Not. Care. But I sure as hell wont allow any of you near my family, I wont have them poisoned by such filthy people. You know nothing of loyalty, honesty, doing what is right, helping other people, or simply being decent. This I know, and always have known, but I stuck by your festering side for years. I will no longer be dragged down by you. And as long as you exist, I will never ever allow you to affect me in any way… I have no emotions for you.. good or bad. I am not even mad at you, because you are pathetic in my eyes and I have better things to do. Like playing cards with my REAL bestie. Have a nice day cunt, hope all your dreams come true, well… not really, I could care less either way. I am gonna be just fine, so don’t you worry your ugly little face about me chic. Haha.
~End Rant~
