it comes in two

I must be a paranoid freak, I feel as if I am being lied to about a certain something happening in the states. Well if so, they will rue the fucking day! I do not know how much of a lie there is going on there, I just know that the whole truth is not being said. I feel like someone is trying to trick me. As if all the shit in the past was not enough. I do not understand how some people can just be a certain way, what is it in you that makes you so fucking hateful? These people that I am talking about, not a moment goes by in their waking life where they are not scheming something up. Whether it be big or small, there is always some kind of a plan. I really do not like having thoughts like these, I do not like thinking that they can be so malicious, but I will not say that they cannot, because I have seen them do it. I have seen them lie boldly, saying something about someone that was completely false, then they kept that lie going for days. Eventually the “conscience” caught up with the person and they decided to take it back. I am wondering if someone’s conscience is going to send me a message soon to tell me the truth. I don’t know.  What I do know is this: I will be looking over my shoulder and will be very wary of a certain few while I visit. And that is only because I know what they are capable of. Their problem, is that they do not know what I am capable of. They have tricked members of their own family for their own personal gain, so I know that it will be easy for them to do whatever it is they are trying to do to me.
It is utterly mystifying that people are willing to go through such lengths. I wont say any names because I am not a slanderer of peoples character, that is not who I am. I can not, no matter how true it is, talk about someone directly behind their backs. As far as I am concerned I have always voiced my opinions out loud to them. I have actually made a few of them cry, with my… bluntness. The difference is they know I am saying these things. I do not have to have a veil of secrecy of any kind. And that is why I am not like them.
Interestingly enough, you have no idea what I am talking about most likely. So I will just move on to the next thing. I also have another complaint about someone in the states, and again, I wont mention a name. What I will say is this: a manipulative, hypocritical, deceitful, malicious jackass is going to be doing what he can to work against me somehow when I do get there. I have two things that I do not want to learn too much about when I do get to the states. Both of which I just said. There is the lie that I will find out the truth about soon enough, and then there is also the one person who hates me with a passion due to some insecurities that seem to forever plague his existence. So to the latter and the former, what am I to do? I guess right now there is nothing I can do. I will just ignore the one who hates me, although easier said then done, I will find a way to never be within his presence. And of the lie, not sure what to make of it. I wish I was paranoid, but when I get these feelings I have always been correct to a certain degree. Something is in the works, from whence it comes I do not know… that is the irritating part. I contemplate on it perhaps way too much. So, I have made precautions, many of them. So… here is to my next vacation! Skál.

~ by drucilla66 on 23/06/2009.